Hi, my name is Tanya Wheeler, and this is my story of what God has been teaching me lately. Recently, I sensed an urge to write about my most recent experience with my mom, and the real change in her life after she almost died in the hospital due to COVID19. I wanted to see a real change in someone that I love and care about. I needed to first allow God to change my heart and mind, to reveal within me what is inside of me that needs to change first. My thinking was “did I need to repent or learn or act differently?”
I remember back in 2006 when I really encountered God in a deeper way. I remember what God said to me “that if I start the change with my own life first than He can change everyone around me”. Because of this I have found that what God told me to be true. When people asked me about Christians, God, and the Bible, I have seen a great outcome and many blessings in my life. By being a follower of Jesus Christ, allowing God and His Word to transform me, I am more like Him, His image and likeness. And, as a result, my time with God has been deeper and richer in getting to know Him, His heart, His character and His nature. I have discovered how good, kind, and loving He really is.
One of the most life changing things that I have learned, this lesson from my own true-life experience, and a big help during this time was from my Pastor friend and consultant. He explained to me how important it is to let God work on my heart first, as it is the most valuable to God. As a result, I got well and now I can see the outcome in ourselves and our loved ones; we might even see changes in our circumstances. It all begins with me changing and discovering what God is teaching, healing, working on in my life, in each situation that I am facing. It could be like our loved one’s parent, children, recovering, marriage issues, a divorce, struggle with addiction or sin to overcome.
Some of the keys I learned to have victory:
- The people and circumstances are here to serve us, for our good outcome and upgrade.
- There are things inside of our hearts and minds that need to change, get uprooted and healed.
- That person or situation is exactly what is right and needed for me.
- It is important to say “Thank you Lord for this person and situation, praying that deep inside of your mind and heart before the Lord.
- Then it is important to pray and say “I choose to forgive, release, bless, and let them go into your hands God to deal with them and this situation.
Only God’s grace can heal you, but you need to take the necessary steps to see the change:
- Admit that you have a problem. Writing or talking about a lot of your heart hurts really helps.
- Get unstuck in your situation by not thinking you are weak. Do not act as a victim anymore.
- Forgive and accept – the person and the situation in your life.
- Go back to the person to serve them, and not to change them.
- Find another source to fill you up in God’s love as a Heavenly Father and Spiritual family.
Based on what I have learned, I have grown and matured in these areas so much to see the real good fruit and result in my life. Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV)“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” It all begins with our heart, mind and life first before we want to see the change in another person. It is a process, but it depends on how bad you want it. The real question to ask yourself is, how deep are you willing to go and how fully you can allow the Holy Spirit to minister to and heal you?
As a result, what I have seen over my life is that as I have understood and taken the steps to heal my heart, God has blessed me. I now have an amazing husband whom God used to change my whole household family and brought order and peace in my home that I have prayed and longed for many years. One of the biggest surprises through this process was that I had to learn my role and how to set healthy boundaries, to not accept guilt or own responsibility that belonged to another person. It was such a relief. Now I pray God change me first. I pray and hope that you apply these steps to bring you the good change that you are looking to see in your life. Remember that before you want to see the change in another person or your situation, it all begins with me first. Many Blessings,
Tanya Wheeler is a wife, mom, hope writer, prayer warrior and marriage mentor. Loves Jesus and inspires people to know and experience the love of God. BA Degree in Business Administration.